Friday, November 9, 2012
Telling My Health Where We Stand
It is currently Wego Health's National Blog Post Month (#NHBPM). My favorite prompt from this week was to write a letter to your health. I love this idea and figure it is about time that I have a heart to heart with my health and let it know where we stand.
I have a question for you. Can you take a vacation?
You should know by now that no matter what rare or difficult health problem you lay down on me that I will refuse to give up. Whether it is Sjogren's and its roller-coaster of complications--including autoimmune neuropathies, uveitis, or, as it is right now, angioedema--that you have put me through, I will research treatments and find the right physician who can help me no matter what the challenge.
It seems that you never really rest. My guess is that your favorite game is whack-a-mole. Yes, it must be what you play. Just when you get one condition under some control, you get bored and decide something new needs to occupy you. Well, I can play whack-a-mole right back. I will keep fighting to knock you back into your hole. I am determined to live as normal a life as possible despite your tireless efforts to prevent me from doing otherwise.
This does not mean that there are not days where you seem to be winning -- the days when I am in pain, fatigued, my joints hurt, it is hard to catch my breath, or my face swells up like a balloon. But I will not stop and I will not give up. While I must try to accept that that you will not be a stranger anytime soon, continuing to be one of the most challenging parts of my life, I will not let you break my spirit. And when I have those moments of mental fatigue and my hope is waning, I will lean on my husband, family and friends to support me and encourage me onward. I will make you cooperate in some way.
I will not only spend my energy trying to fight you and be as healthy as I can, but I will also work to bring awareness and research funding to Sjogren's and other autoimmune diseases. I hope that you will become more pliable, controllable, as new treatments emerge. That you will no longer be the ultimate struggle and hardship in not just mine but so many people's lives with chronic illness.
I must admit that while we are at odds, I have learned a lot from you. I am resilient and a fighter and can handle much more than I ever thought or really wanted to for that matter. I do still implore you to get tired and take a long vacation one of these days. It would allow me to take a much needed health holiday from doctors and medicines and not feeling well, but as long as you insist on being hyperactive --I have my boxing gloves perched and ready.